brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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