That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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