Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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