Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
