Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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