did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
