there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
