Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
