it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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