I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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