Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
