You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
