singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
