omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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