The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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