I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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