you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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