after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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