I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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