The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
