I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
