About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
