My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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