Small penises have feelings too.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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