On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
one might say we're banned from that church
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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