There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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