My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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