Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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