don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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