Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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