Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Sponge bath it is.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
