So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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