i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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