I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
