when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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