8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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