Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
