Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
