just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
