You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
