You smell like a Billy Joel song
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
