A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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