Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
