i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
No subtext here. People are naked.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
