i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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