Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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