I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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