U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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