So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
