We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
