Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
