Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
