Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
